Hidden
by Sadako- Tokumei Kibou
Summary: He keeps his love a secret because he is the Avatar. He fights for her because he is the Avatar. But he wants her to accept him as Aang, and not just the Avatar.


More Aangst from the past... That's all this fic is in a nutshell.

Disclaimer: Avatar will never be mine. *tear*

**Hidden**

There were very few sights in the world that could astound the nomadic Aang. Having traveled the world, he had seen the beauty of nature at its best, but only certain displays captivated him. One of them was the bright, glorious sunset before him. No matter where in the world he was, he loved to see watch the sun dip beneath the mountains and sea, and the sky glow with swirls of orange, red, pink and purple. He thought he could watch sunsets forever. The other sight he never grew tired of was that of the beautiful Waterbender practicing her techniques by the seashore.

Aang fiddled with two wooden poles as he set up a tent to help make camp. Well, he was _trying_ to set up the tent anyway. He was distracted by Katara's lovely form as she bent waves of cool water with ease, a concentrated yet peaceful expression on her face. He could feel himself blushing as he watched her, noticing how she seemed even prettier as the sun's last rays kissed her cinnamon skin. _God, she's beautiful, _he thought, his heart pulsating with tender, familiar emotions.

It was inevitable that he had feelings for her, those of which he realized were deeper than he thought, for they had the power to allow him to be at both his strongest and his weakest. Her compassionate, cerulean eyes were the first things he saw after emerging from the iceberg, and ever since then he knew there was something special about her...something that would speak to him about life, love, destiny...

Life. It was worth living again because of her. Of course there were many things that made life worthwhile, but Katara was undoubtedly an irreplaceable part of that.

Love. He wasn't sure if he was in love with her yet, but he was certain that sooner or later it would come to that point. He couldn't imagine feeling this way with anyone else, or going through the joys and sorrows of this journey with another girl.

Destiny. He knew it was the duty of the Avatar to save the world. The best part was that he wouldn't be alone. But was there a deeper part of his destiny? Somehow Katara had to be involved...

Oh, it was probably his feelings talking again. They sometimes were more prominent than the logic of his mind. He knew what made sense and what was right, and that was to stay focused on his mission. His duties were not to himself, but to the world. There wasn't time for worldly pleasures... Aang could recall everything the monks had taught him, but he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with a few of these pleasures. After all, some of the Avatars in his past lives had experienced such happiness, prevalently Roku and his wife.

Why couldn't he do the same? He was looking forward to falling in love with Katara and learning more about her. He wanted to experience love in his lifetime. He knew that as the Avatar and being part of the reincarnation cycle, he will probably live a lot longer than Katara, and that if she died before him, he wouldn't be able to stand living without her. So he must cherish his time with her now. Yet, Aang thought with a frown, he felt selfish about that too. He did enjoy his time with Katara, but he wanted _more_ time---time that would be spent differently if he were her boyfriend.

He glanced over his shoulder at her as he finished setting up camp. He smiled as he saw her enjoy herself in her element, the rushing waters forming ribbons of blue around her soft, curvaceous body. He loved watching her no matter what she was doing, but even moreso when she didn't know he was looking. He wondered what would happen if she discovered he had been discreetly watching her and thinking about her more than a good friend should.

"Alright everybody, I've got the goods!" Sokka announced triumphantly as he returned from his hunt. He grinned as he emptied a sack full of berries, vegetables and fat fish. Then he frowned as he realized something. "Hey, Aang. You didn't build the fire yet."

Aang shook his head as he came back to reality. He turned toward Sokka and smiled sheepishly. "Heh, sorry Sokka. I'll get right on it."

Sokka raised an eyebrow as he glanced back and forth between Aang and Katara. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Aang felt his heart begin to pound as he left to collect firewood. He hoped Sokka hadn't noticed anything...

***

Focusing on dinner proved to be harder than Aang thought. Yes, the food was good and the conversation was nice, but once again he was distracted by his thoughts of Katara. Perhaps that something to do with the fact that he was sitting across from her, his eyes occasionally meeting hers with a shy smile, and the blush on his cheeks that was hidden perfectly with the light of the reddish rays of the setting sun. He couldn't help but think that someday he'd like to have dinner with Katara, just the two of them.

If he were honest about it, Aang admitted to himself that he'd like many things. Her affection, her touch, her kiss, her heart...to be her boyfriend...

_But that's something I know won't happen, no matter how I feel, _Aang thought bitterly, picking at the mushrooms on his banana-leaf plate. His brows furrowed at his own pessimistic thoughts. Honestly, it wasn't like him to never look on the bright side of things. But---and he didn't know when or how it happened---a sense of doubt caused him to look at himself in a different way when it came to having a relationship with Katara.

Would their age difference scare her?

At age twelve, Aang knew that many people considered him to still be a kid. He could understand that, given his limited knowledge of life, and the fact his carefree nature and cheerfulness further attested to his young age. But did Katara think he was a kid? _Pretty much, _he could glumly answer that himself, and inwardly sighed. Perhaps she didn't see him as a little kid to take care of, but certainly as a friend who was much younger than her, a friend who she had to teach and protect, and thus couldn't look up to or respect as a man...

On the small scale of things, two years didn't seem like a big deal. But apparently it had a much bigger impact than Aang realized. If only he were just a year younger or even the same age as Haru...

Would she find him attractive?

Aang knew that Katara found his personality to be pleasant enough, and that she admired his optimisim, courage and sense of duty. It was the first time the thought had ever crossed him, but he wondered if Katara thought he was physically appealing. He had never given much thought to physical appearance, let alone his own, but now he found himself wanting to know what Katara particularly found attractive.

He had seen the way she had looked at guys before. She wasn't aware of it, but he caught the desire in her eyes when she looked at Jet...the way she had blushed in front of Haru... They were tall, athletic, tanned, well-built, with slightly long, mussed hair: everything he didn't have. Well, minus the athletics. But, Aang mused with a frown, it wasn't enough. _She'll never look at me like that, _he thought dejectedly.

How he desperately wished she would.

He glanced at her briefly; she was laughing and conversing with Sokka. _You look so beautiful when you smile,_ he wanted to tell her, forming a smile of his own. Oh, how he wanted to tell her so many things...

***

The full, silver moon and stars were shining brightly in the midnight blue sky. A gentle breeze swayed the grass of the meadows and the green leaves of the sturdy trees. From afar an owl hooted gently, and a sad coyote cried out piningly. The Avatar could relate to all aspects of nature, from the wind that carried him in the sky to the somber song of the lonely coyote.

_Especially_ that of the lonely coyote.

Aang drew his knees to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs as he longingly gazed at a sleeping Katara. He couldn't sleep, not so much due to Sokka's snoring, so he thought he might stay awake and enjoy the beauty of nature.

And by beauty he meant Katara.

Even in her sleep, she was so pretty to him. He tossed another stick in the campfire, keeping the dancing flames going. It was unsually cold tonight. Of course that was probably due to the breeze and having set up camp near the sea, but perhaps Aang wanted to keep the fire going for another reason. In practical terms, it was to keep warm and have a source of light. But he also liked the way the shadows from the firelight danced on Katara's peaceful face.

The coyote's song still echoed in the distance.

Aang sighed to himself. Unlike the coyote, he had to remain silent on the issue of his loneliness. He had come to realize that although he was traveling with friends, thus he wasn't _alone_, in his heart he was missing something important..something that had to do with Katara..and so he felt _lonely. _

His eyes fell on Katara again, watching the way long strands of her dark hair sway in the gentle breeze. So many times did he hold back about confessing his feelings to her. The only time he _actually_ did it was unsuccessful, as the confession fell on deaf ears. Perhaps the timing and location wasn't the best, but nonetheless he attempted to let her know. He had cautiously shown his affection for her, but... _But it's like she doesn't get it,_ Aang thought with another sigh. His eyes widened as he realized something.

_She doesn't get it._

Or does she, and she isn't feeding a forbidden fire by flirting back?

Then there was that reminder that even if he wanted a relationship with her, he was sure that Sokka would definitely have a say in it as her brother. Aang groaned softly as he hung his head between his knees. No matter which way he went about it, he didn't know..he just didn't know anymore.

He stayed that way for a while, deep in thought, until he heard gentle chattering. He picked his head up and noticed that Katara was shivering in her sleep. The wind picked up again, and Katara subtly groaned as she rolled over, unconsciously burrowing herself deeper in her sleeping bag. Aang stared at her for a moment before standing up. He pulled his tunic over his head and smoothed out any wrinkles once it was off of him. Then he paced over to Katara and knelt at her side, laying his tunic over her. One day he hoped to warm her with his arms around her...

"I wish I could tell you how I feel," he whispered.

Aang wondered why did _he_ have to be the Avatar. Yet, the fact that was he was the Avatar was what allowed him to meet Katara. He remained at her side for a minute, making sure her shivers came to a stop and she was in a warm, peaceful slumber once again. Her chest rose and fell evenly, her quiet breathing a reassuring sound. Aang remained at her side for a moment, finding it difficult to move away. He began to stare at her again, and his hand slightly twitched at his side.

He wanted to touch her...

They had embraced a few times, and he cherished each time he was able to be close like that. He loved the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body, the feeling of her arms around him. He was content even with a simple hug, but he couldn't help but find that he wanted just a little more. Perhaps it was his curiosity, perhaps his feelings...either way, he craved her at this moment. And it was causing a familiar ache in his loins. However, it was something he had to ignore. _Don't_ _be stupid,_ he chided himself, taking in a deep breath. He sighed softly, relaxing his hand that seemed to gravitate toward Katara's hair. Touching her regardless of the place would be a risky move. Nonetheless, his desire was so eminent that subsidence would occur only if it was taken care of, albeit even lightly.

And that's how Aang found himself gently stroking Katara's hair, her soft, dark hair caught in his fingers, sending a shiver of pleasure racing throughout his body. Even doing that felt remarkably good, and Aang couldn't think of another time in his life where five seconds had been so pleasurable.

Then Katara stirred.

Aang immediately drew his hand away, his heart pounding like the thumping of a jackrabbit. _You idiot, you idiot, you idiot, you woke her up!!_ his inner voice screamed at him. He held his breath as he slowly leaned back onto his heels and edged away, distancing himself from so as to avoid her wrath/curious questions when she figured out what he'd been doing...

Katara merely turned over to face him, her half-lidded eyes blurred with confusion and fatigue. She brushed aside some loose strands of hair away from her face, still half asleep. She murmured, "Huh? Is that you, Aang?"

He didn't answer.

He _couldn't _answer.

Aang dared not move, and though he was a good six feet from Katara, he hoped the ferocious beating of his heart did not fully wake her. He couldn't answer her. If he did...if he started talking to her, he'd want to be near her again. He'd want to lay down with her and kiss her, caress her... Aang shook his head, stopping his train of thought. Stupid hormones.

He turned his head when he heard Sokka chattering nonsense in his sleep nearby. Something about a giant Momo eating him? Aang smiled, thinking that some things would never change. After he was sure Katara was asleep again and it was safe to move, he left.

***

In the morning, a well-rested but slightly puzzled Katara awoke with a familiar yellow-orange piece of clothing over her. She reached up to rub the sleep off of her eyes, certain that she had imagined it. No, it was truly there, still warm and carrying the scent of its owner. Katara's eyes widened as she realized that although she had not been fully aware of much last night, she'd had a feeling that she _wasn't_ alone. And now, as she held Aang's tunic in her hand, she knew. _He WAS here last night,_ she thought in awe, her heart pounding in confusion, her mind swarming with questions.

Why did he do that? She was grateful for the act, if indeed she was cold enough to need extra heat that her thick sleeping bag did not provide, but she didn't understand why. Maybe he was just being nice. He was a kind guy after all... Had he watched her sleep? Did he do anything besides watch her sleep? Come to think of it, Katara swore that she hadn't gone to sleep with her hair loose, yet...

Katara stood up and folded Aang's tunic, intent on returning it to him without questioning why. It was an act of kindess and nothing else. She looked around and noticed that she was the only one around. _Sokka and Aang must have gone to find breakfast,_ she thought._ I'll give Aang his tunic back after we eat. _

Sokka had returned twenty minutes later, whistling a tune as he carried a sack of food. He grinned at Katara as he set the sack down and started a fire for breakfast. "Morning, Sis!"

Katara tilted her head to the side, a curious look on her face. "Morning... um, did Aang go with you when you left by any chance?"

"Nope," Sokka replied simply, pulling out a papaya from the sack and holding it out to her. "Look at what I found just for you."

Katara turned her nose up slightly and half-scowled at Sokka, knowing that he was aware of the fact she disliked papayas. "I'm gonna go find him. Wait here, ok?"

"He's probably just training or something, Katara, don't worry about him," Sokka called as he watched his sister stroll further down the shore. "I was just kidding about the papaya!!"

An hour's time had left a curious and worrisome Katara just a little frustrated. She had searched along the shore and the meadow, but couldn't find Aang anywhere. To make things even more confusing, his staff was still here. "Aang!" she called for what must have been the fiftieth time. Only her echo answered back.

***

On a mountaintop that overlooked the beach, valley and forest sat the Avatar, attempting to mediate but failing horribly as his thoughts consisted of only Katara. He took in a deep breath and exhaled, but instead of any trace of wisdom coming his way, he heard the echo of Katara's call. He grimaced amidst his meditation, opening his eyes to see Katara facing the ocean, and frowned. He wanted to answer, but knew he had to get his thoughts and feelings straightened out first. _I'm sorry, Katara, _he thought ruefully. _I'm only doing this because I...care about you more than anyone._

He knew he'd have to face her eventually and keep a cheerful facade to prove that nothing was wrong. He would tell Sokka and Katara the truth when he rejoined them: he was off for an early morning meditation session. It wasn't out of his character to do such a thing. Yes, that's what he would tell them. He didn't want them to get suspicious, especially Sokka.

He'd have to hide his heart again...

_(fade to black...)_

End.


End file.
